i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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