Duck Duck Cougar?
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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