U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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