This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
