You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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