she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Randomize
