Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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