Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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