I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
its liver damage thursday
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
