i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
