OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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