I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
