No awkward lesbian experiences without me
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
