I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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