you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
