It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
