Well douche your snatch and let's go!
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
