Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Randomize
