Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
