I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
