Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Randomize
