We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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