The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
