I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
