Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
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