no, he came in my armpit
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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