she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
