the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
