Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
