how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
