My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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