how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
