i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
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