well I can't set my house on fire every night
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
