Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Randomize
