im six kinds of drunk right now
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize