Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
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