thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Randomize
