omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I am spending my child support on dildos
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
