Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
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