How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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