I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Houston, we have a squirter
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
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