You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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