Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Randomize
