If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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