trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Khloé Kardashian Finally Speaks Out About The Tristan Thompson Cheating Scandal
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
15 Porn Memes You’re Only Allowed To Laugh At If You’re Over 18
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.