i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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