I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
