No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
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