You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Randomize
