Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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