So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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