obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
