wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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