can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
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Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
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He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize