So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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