highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
