apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
