I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Holy sore nipples Batman
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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