it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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