Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
