i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
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