new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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