Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(720): View more from Colorado

you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!

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(518): View more from New York

you're out of your mind

(518): View more from New York

you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear

(518): View more from New York

it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence

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(269): View more from Michigan

I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack

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If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things
Read it at the TFLN blog
(519): View more from Ontario

Clothes are such an inconvenience.

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(201): View more from New Jersey

I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american

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(905): View more from Ontario

We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.

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(509): View more from Washington

Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.

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(248): View more from Michigan

I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?

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