I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Dating After Heartbreak
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast