Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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