As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?