So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
