I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
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