i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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