Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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