Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
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