Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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